Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Non-love story #4188 "A0 無無 係人地眼中,我係一個好叻好開朗既女仔 我記得中學畢業果陣,玩龜背,同學寫比我既野都係你好叻,你好中意笑,你好可愛。 好多人羨慕我,有好好既爸爸媽媽,成績好,入到A1。 其實我一直有個秘密,無講比身邊既朋友聽,一來怕佢地睇我唔起,一來唔想比佢知我咁軟弱,又唔想佢地擔心我。 呢個秘密就係由F4開始,我已經有depression,每個月睇幾千蚊醫生。 到今時今日,depression好番,又有OCD…… 其實我真係好軟弱,食藥見心理輔導,攪左好耐都好唔番。 我覺得自己好無用……每次都爸爸媽媽講開呢個問題,我都覺得自己好令佢擔心,但又咩都做唔到。 我真係唔想再有呢個病,好辛苦,但係一直都好唔番,我真心覺得自己好廢。 我係一個好怕無朋友既人,所以我慣左係人面前唔會做真正既自己,好怕好怕佢地憎左我。因為咁樣,我無咩朋友……佢地同我講,好似同我熟唔到咁。我好努力想有多d朋友,就算我驚,我都會迫自己去好多人既場合,只為同大家熟d,雖然好多時個場合入面我一個人都唔識,真係好驚。但係唔知點解,就算我幾努力,我都係好無存在感,人地生日會有人鋪天蓋地咁慶祝,我生日唔會有人記得。所以我好認同早幾日話想要多d frd個樓主,whatsapp兩日先響一次,post親野都得一兩個like,I know that feel.我真係已經盡哂力,但都係無咩朋友,又無人追……我真係好懷疑自己係未唔應該被愛?見到身邊朋友都出哂pool,我真係覺得自己好無用,點解我好似咩都做唔到咁既?我唔想做個咁既人,我好想improve自己,我甚至問過身邊既朋友我有咩唔好,佢地唔知係講大話定認真咁話我已經好好。我真係唔知點算,好唔開心,覺得自己好廢。其實我都係一個普通女仔想有人錫。點解朋友又無,追求者又無?究竟我係未真係咁差我唔奢求做萬人迷,只係想做個普通女仔,唔洗有呢個病,有多 d朋友,有一個對我好既男朋友,點解咁難? 但係真係唔想講呢d野比朋友/屋企人聽,唔想比佢地知道我咁軟弱,好似為左好小事好唔開心咁。 所以我繼續扮開心扮寸,到今日佢地都係咩都唔知,覺得我好叻好TOUGH。 我將呢d野收埋哂真係好辛苦,直至我遇到兩個好有好感既男仔,佢地兩個係唔同時間出現,但其實係佢身上發生既野係一樣。我將呢d唔開心既野講哂比佢地聽。講完呢d野比佢地聽,我竟然不知不覺間好依賴佢地,之後仲喊住打比其中一個。可能佢地都感覺到我對佢地既依賴已經over左,之後開始疏遠我。原來每次我搵到樹洞,一個係佢面前可以做番我自己既樹洞,我都會好依賴佢地,但係每次d樹洞都會疏遠我,最後連朋友都做唔到。 佢地咁樣,令我明白一切都只係自己ff,可能我一個咁無用既人,真係唔值得有人愛。 sorry for 有d長and 1999. 其實無野既,只不過我已經唔敢再搵第三個樹洞,好彩仲有呢度。" From 薄扶林大學 (HKU) ================================= Dry Club Official Member recruitment + Our first privilege for you! **Our membership is free of charge!** Party + Free Membership ==> http://bit.ly/dryclubparty Free Membership only ==> http://bit.ly/dryclubmember

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